Merry & Happy

I find myself having had a merry Christmas, and I am looking forward to a happy new year.

There are, of course, always less fortunate individuals. This year I seem to have had reminders from many around me as to just how unfortunate these things can be.

Allow me please to start with the slightly 'mixed' news brought to us by Northern Monkey, whose sister left her husband (a John Simm look-alike, apparently) of five years (and partner of ten) earlier this year for a married father of two.
As the new twist in the tale became known to Ms. Monkey on Boxing Day, I hope she managed to get enough sleep. Or vodka.

I remember AnnieSeed and of wishing her hope in 2007, let alone 2008.

My boss, meanwhile, has discovered that he has exertional angina. Of the four arteries to his heart, two are apparently 90% blocked, and the other two 70% blocked. Apparently the doctor is amazed that he can even stand up - we assume this must be due to his general good health - he still plays (well, until recently) Friday Night Football, and still loves to go for a good hard run during the more pleasant months.
He is booked in now for a quadruple bypass.

Today, January 2nd 2008, marks three years since I proposed to my wife. Tomorrow her birthday. This week, I plan to read back over a letter from my solicitor to try to make a decision as to whether to pursue divorce or annullment.

I logged in today to a forum of which I am a member. A thread caught my eye - a tribute to a member. "Is this silly?" I wondered, "Or serious?"
Serious, it would appear. A separate thread marked a note from the member's husband that she had died that day.

December 31st. The end of the year. And the end of employment for my redundant colleague, with whom I have worked for five years. He leaves us with no new job prospects as yet, and a partner at home who cannot stand nor sit for more than 30 minutes without needing to lay down afterwards. Despite more time at the hospital than I have had holiday, and more of their own time spent researching it than I have played Oblivion, still nobody knows what is wrong with her.
Still, despite m'colleague being almost twice my age, I suggested that we all went to the pub for lunch. I bought both his lunch and his pint, but more proud was I of the fact that I overcame my inhibitions before he left that day to initiate a quick, manly hug.

Meanwhile, a friend of a friend prepares for a disciplinary meeting at work over trivialities, in spite of what seems to me to be the whole department singing their praises.

My other boss had family over for Christmas day. His brother-in-law felt ill, and went back to bed even before the turkey. Eventually, the paramedics were over. "Man flu," I am told they diagnosed.

He died an hour later.

To all who must suffer pain at this time (or any other), I hope that the words "merry" and "happy" do twist, do not sour, do not leave twinges of hurt and regret.

Sometimes, perhaps, the darkness can seem so blinding that the light cannot be seen.

I would like to say something inspiring. Something stirring, something to make the bad things seem better, something to turn this post around, to produce smiles over sorrow.

Sadly, no such words seem to appear before me.

No matter how small or large our problems, may we all find things to bring us comfort, may we find the things that we love, and the people that love us right there, whenever we need them, no matter the reason.

We all have our load to bear, but no matter how you may feel your load compares to that of another, it does not matter. Comparing problems may make them feel smaller, less important, but that does not mean they weigh less to ourselves.
I hope simply that you have the things and the people around you to help you bear their weight.

All who read this, my readers, my friends, my family, no matter how it may seem to start or end, I wish you all again a very happy new year.