Saturday, June 30, 2007


First, another quick update:
- I am still at my parents. They are out shopping at the moment, given that there was no food in the house as they had been on holiday.
- My sister is on her way back. I spoke to her about 20mins ago and she said she was in Grantham and expected to arrive home at about 3pm (I answered the phone as Mum and Dad were out - "Hello?" I answered, "Hello?" she said. "Hello!" I said a little more cheerfully recognising who it was. "Oh," she said, "Sorry, I wasn't sure if it was you or not." "Yes, it is me!" I exclaimed, "I couldn't tell if it was you or Monkfish" she said. "It IS Monkfish!!" I said! (Ok, real names were being used ;) ) Strangely enough, Mrs M also mis-took me for my Dad on the phone yesterday too. Apparently, we sound alike ;)
- Visiting time at the hospital begins at 3, so I said I expect Mum and Dad will want to go ASAP, but I'll wait here for her to get home.
- She phoned a short while later to say that there has been a big accident on the A1, so it may take a fair bit longer. Will have to wait and see what happens.

Right, that's the brief update I think :)

Now. Here's another easy bit, before I start on a hard bit. I seem to have a lot I want to blog:
- Hospitals and very ill people (I want to get onto that now)
- London Bombings (Summary: Piss poor attempt, incompetent bombers, stop making such a fuss)
- Lily Allen (Summary: She didn't annoy me too much, until I heard the version of Kaiser Chiefs' "Oh My God" that she has done. I've heard this three times on the radio now [Radio 1, I guess it may have been a Live Lounge thing] that makes me swear a lot at her every time, and fills me with a desire to RIP OFF MY OWN EARS! *cough* Aaanyway... The summary will do, cross one thing off my "To Do" list)
- Wednesday and Thursday, which I really want to talk about, as I had a great time.
- Load sharing.

Right. I need to actually think about what I'm saying now, so I'm going to have to slow down a bit ;)

I want to talk about hospitals and ill people and dead people and all manners of other such cheery things. Or not, as the case may be. Well. "Want" may not be quite the right word, but I feel that I sort of would like to do so.

...Actually, my parents just got back, I shall return to this post later ;) Sorry ;)

** Continued, 17:07
Well, my poor sister has now pissed over all my recent grumblings about motorways. She was just north of Peterborough when I spoke to her a short while ago - her ETA is now 6:30pm.

I phoned Mrs M to see how she was doing, to discover that she had just made it home to her parents when I phoned. She said that from where her and my sister went their separate ways, it took her about 1.5 hours to make it to the next junction, where she then slipped off in a different direction. My sister, unfortunately, remained mostly stuck in it, despite her attempts to go a different route.

My parents have just seen my Nan and been kicked out as soon as visiting hour was over. Mum thought that when she tried speaking to her today, she appeared to show a bit more of a reaction to yesterday - perhaps one of actual recognition.

I found some of that quite difficult yesterday.

It was my first time for being with someone who was in a state like that.

Most of the time I tried to just sit next to her, in view if she opened her eyes, sometimes with my hand on her hand or her arm, depending upon which seemed to agitate her least at that time.
Most of the time she seemed to be in a kind of disturbed sleep. Hospital blankets up to just above her waist, a hospital gown above that. Some slight foam around her mouth. Most of the time, her eyes were closed. Sometimes, there seemed to be a slight tear in them.

When she opened her eyes, she tended to look almost in my direction. Almost. More often than not, she looked somewhere past me.

** Continued, 18:02.

At the times she did look roughly in my direction, I'd try to catch her eye and lean in a bit.

"It's me, Nanny, [Monkfish], your grandson. Mum and Dad - [Monkfish's Mum] and [Monkfish's Dad] - your daughter is on her way down. [Mum's Cousin] has gone for a cup of tea."

There were times that she would seem agitated.

"It's ok, just relax, you're in hospital. It's me, Monkfish. Mum and Dad are coming, they'll be here soon."

She went through a period of trying to do something to her face. I couldn't tell whether she had an itch, or whether it was something else. After a few goes, I wondered if she felt irritated by the oxygen tube in her nose. Apparently she had been bothered by the oxygen mask that she had on earlier (before I got there).
This called for an intense leap of imagination for me to make it up to...

"You're in hospital, Nanny. You've got a tube in your nose, it's ok."

Her attempts at doing something with her face were about finalised with some movement of her hand near to (but not against) her face. I wondered if she thought she was putting on makeup.

Some of the times that I spoke to her, she would show a definite awareness that she knew someone was speaking to her. She appeared to try to look at me a couple of times, to try to concentrate on what I was saying. I do not have the faintest idea whether she recognised me. Once or twice she managed to make a noise, perhaps half a sylabelle in length.

Other times, she just seemed more agitated by the fact that there were people around her. I imagine that if I had no idea where I was, or who was around me, or what they were doing, that I would feel pretty agitated too.

Later she seemed more bothered about being in bed. She kept trying to push the blankets off of herself. Sometimes she tried to push herself forwards. With her right-side paralyzed, she never made it very far.

My parents just got back from the first visiting hour a short while ago and are about to grab some food very quickly before heading back for the next (they are very strict with their times). I waited here in case my sister arrived home (that was before she had phoned in with the update).

My Mum said she thought she seemed to recognise her more, but Dad said that she didn't open her eyes at all.

And my sister has just arrived home (18:25).

Some Details For You

Right, I'll start with some details.

My Nan
- Has remained "stable" overnight
- I am not sure what the plan for going up there today is
- A consultant's appointment regarding her is booked with my Mum for Wednesday at 2pm. My initial thought regarding this was that this could be a good sign. The swift follow-up thought was that actually this was probably very simply the earliest appointment available.

Yorkshire and The Girls
- This is my sister and Mrs M who are still up in Yorkshire (they have, by the way, managed to avoid any sign of flooding)
- The original holiday plan had been for two weeks in total. This consisted of staying in two separate cottages, the second of which they were scheduled to go to today.
- Mrs M had joined them on around Monday/Tuesday (it's not like she even needed to book time off work now, and she enjoys spending time with the rest of my family)
- I had thought originally that my parents+sister had all gone up in just my Dad's car and now had the option to stay because Mrs M was there in her car. Apparently my sister had taken her car too though.
- My sister has decided that she doesn't really want to stay on holiday because, even if nothing else, it's not going to be the same without my parents around too. So, they'll be driving back today. It's a shame it's a long drive that she'll have no company with her in the car for.
- Apparently they did pay for cancellation insurance, so even although it's "quite late" to cancel, they ought to be able to get something back.
- Today is my sister's 25th birthday.

- I am at my parents at the moment.
- I imagine that I will stay here today and tonight, especially if my sister is now heading back.
- I guess that I will make my way back home some time tomorrow to be back at work on Monday.

Right, I think I'll take this opportunity to get dressed and find some food, before attempting to return to write some less "bullet-pointy" stuff ;)

Friday, June 29, 2007

So what will the next two days hold?

So, I had literally just made it out of bed (I'd set an alarm for 9, but it seems to be 10 - why on Earth do they put the "Off" button like 2mm away from the "Snooze" button? Do they really think you have 100% accuracy when you're half asleep?) and into my dressing gown.

First thing to do before anything else: Call furniture place, find out whether I can arrange delivery for today.

My phone started making noise.

I figured I must have set an alarm, or left one turned on that I'd forgotten about, but it turned out it was actually ringing.

It was Mrs M, who is now on holiday with my parents in the Yorkshire Dales.

A few years ago, my Nan moved into a house just around the corner from my parents. If you walk along to the end of my parents' garden, then through the end of their neighbour's garden (the neighbour doesn't use that end of the garden, so was happy to take a couple of fence panels down to allow this), you arrive in my Nan's back garden. My Dad has run cables along all this route so that there are those motion sensing lights all the way along, so when you walk along at night, all the lights come on as you need them. He has also set up an intercom between the two houses so that they can talk to each other without using the phone. How cool is that?

My Nan has carers who come for a couple of hours most days a week that help her get dressed in the morning, etc. but most of the looking after of her is done by my Mum. Because of this, while they are on holiday (Nanny did not want to go), they had found a home to put her into for a couple of weeks.

My apologies if you have read this far and have had that sinking feeling building - as I often do when reading other posts similar to this - as it may not be quite as bad as you fear. She has had a stroke, and cannot use one side of her body. So far, this is all I know - the home had called my parents to tell them, but had rattled the phone number of the hospital off quite quickly, so my Mum hadn't written it down right, so they had phoned me to look up the correct number.

So, my Mum has already asked her cousin & husband to go over to the hospital (who live over that side of the country, so it's a little closer for them). I'm a bit further away (not 'far' in the grand scheme of things, about 1.5 hours) offered to go too, but they said "Let's wait until we know what's happening."

So it's now (10:55) about an hour since they called, and I still haven't heard anything new yet.

My Nan had a fairly big stroke a few years ago, from which she had mostly recovered, but there was still a bit of a disconnection between seeing something or someone and being able to actually recognise what or who it was. So, I've no idea what'll happen now.

If you were wondering (thank you), I'm feeling mostly ok at the moment, although I wish I knew what was happening, so I think it's time to chase someone...

** Update: 11:17. Apparently she can't use her right-hand side or speak. She is booked in for a CT scan. Off I go...

** Update: 11:20. My sister. It sounds windy. She is probably hanging out of the upstairs cottage window to get reception again. "By the way, if you were thinking of going home, Dad's double-bolted the door, so you won't be able to get in. And we don't have a spare key for Nanny's either."

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Home Already

I am home, already!

And it feels like AGES since I was last here! I really cannot believe it has only been two days. I think it has been two very very long days ;)

So, I am compltely knackered, and decided to come home already because:
1. I just felt I wanted to *FLOP* in my own bed.
2. I had a message today from the people with my bedroom furniture to say that it has arrived, so I will see if I can get it delivered tomorrow.

I have had a really really great time, and it was brilliant to meet Roses and Ing and Hottie and Boy.

It is really good to come back and see my little home still here too :) I like it here :) As I said, it really does feel much longer than two days! Possibly because I was probably up until 12am Tuesday, woke 6am Wednesday (got out of bed 6:45)... Not sure what I did (other than have a cup of tea) after that, as it was 8am when I set off. Rush hour M25. Whoo. ;)

I'll skip the details for now (I want to chiiiiill :) ), but Weds night didn't sleep much (aimed for sleep about 1:30am, woke up around... 4am I think... no wonder it feels a long day ;) )


Summary: Fantastic time, but now compleeeeetely cream crackered :)

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Mrs M...

...Would not be at all surprised.

For by the time I was ready and the car packed, it would have been awful late by the time I got to the other end. Tomorrow morning it is ;)

I bet sometimes she didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Probably both :)

Hmm, I've had that "banging head on wall but smiling" feeling before a few times too... :)


As usual, I am behind schedule.

I thought, "I'll aim to leave at 7."

Well, I did leave at 7. Work, that is.

So I'm hurriedly yomping down some food while typing this.

As I said last week, I've booked a few days off. Heading over to Norwich for no particular reason this evening, and my plans beyond that are a little vague ;) I may just figure it out as I go along :)

But to be honest, I'm quite looking forward to just figuring it out as I go, ending up wherever the inkling takes me. :)

What is an inkling, anyway? Like a baby inclination? Hmm :)

Right, must dash (he says, still trying to chomp through cheap fast microwavable burger - try beating that, Northern Monkey ;) ), I should have left over an hour ago. ;)

What a Boad of Lollocks

Non-root Destination Directories

The Directory value for a non-root directory is also interpreted as the name of a property defining the location of the destination. If the property is defined, the destination directory is resolved to the property's value. If the property is not defined, the destination directory is resolved to a subdirectory beneath the resolved destination directory for the Directory_Parent entry. The DefaultDir value defines the name of the subdirectory.

Non-root Source Directories

The source directory for a non-root directory is resolved to a subdirectory of the resolved source directory for the Directory_Parent entry. Again, the DefaultDir value defines the name of the subdirectory.

Well. It went without saying really, didn't it.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Barge Poles


So I have been looking at desks over the last few weeks. A desk is the last item on my "Furniture I'd like..." list - after that, there's vague ideas but nothing tangible.

Googled for random sellers of desks this evening.

Found one company that seemed to have a decent selection... Saw one I liked, more expensive than I'd have liked (just under £200), and a bit bigger than I'd been thinking... But looked good. Primarily, I want my computer and all its bits to be able to sit neatly on it. After that, is the storage issue. I don't want bloody shelves all over the place. My desk is untidy enough as it is, without having extra surfaces to be all untidy over. But the desk that caught my eye had drawers on one side, and a cupboard (including space for computer - nice and tidy in there) on the right, and a slidey drawer thing for the printer and for the keyboard.
Ok, so, it was a bit bigger... But more storage will be useful... Thought about it, Googled some more, continued to be tempted... Realised that £200 price didn't include delivery. Add ten percent. Oh... and then add the VAT. Another 17.5%. Ok, much less sure now. Much more Googling and looking around.

Much repeated measuring of random directions in my room and hmmming and looking thoughtful.

Realise that I keep coming back to it, and I'm clearly probably (hmm, clearly probably? :) ) keen on it, so, I eventually decide to go get my wallet.

"Oh," I think, "I'll just Google the company, see what comes up."

Bollocks. That was a mistake ;) Ok, well, it probably wasn't, but still :)

"This company," writes one reviewer, "is what barge poles were invented for."

Another: "I am extremely disappointed..."

Another: "I ordered a desk... after three weeks, e-mailed them... they said I had already received the desk two weeks ago... funny that, as I don't remember taking it."

Another: "Really bad at customer care, shoddy communications, and delivery times don't tally with what they promised."

Bugger it! :)

Now, normally I know that with random web reviews you can expect bad things... But "Average ratings from 41 reviews" - "Quality of service 0/10".


Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Some Random Bits 'n' Bobs

1. I must hurry, as I looked at the clock earlier and it was 10:40. It now seems to have hit 12:40 all of a sudden. Whoops.

2. I've provisionally booked some of next week off, and I think I'll make a mini-holiday from it :)

3. Some random pictures that I've taken over the last week.

The Moon. What, you want more of an explanation than that? That big thing that hangs up in the sky, you see it at night.

A random pic that I thought might be interesting, looking out from my living room, past the plant on my windowsill, and out to the moon and (to what we now know to be ;) ) Venus.

Sometimes, even I fear I may end up believing I may actually be able to use the K... use the Ki... usethekitchen... When I only fancied "something quick" the other day, and yet still managed to come up with this. Ok ok, it's probably not all that impressive, but clearly I'm easily pleased ;)
Oh, and whilst I suppose it should probably be white wine with fish, I probably open about a bottle a month on average, and I'll be buggered if I'm opening a fresh bottle just for that ;)

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Something to be Proud of

Well. Isn't that something.

I notice from my stats that I am the top link on Google for a new phrase.

Well. Lucky me. Lucky lucky luck luck cluck cluck cluuuck-sorry, went a bit Prince George there.

Certainly, this is going to be one to tell the grandchildren about.

Or perhaps not ;)

Sunday, June 17, 2007

The Value in Not Understanding

I can be quite good at understanding things. I can manage to forget my own thoughts and think about how and why someone else would do something. I can see their point of view, explain it to others, or help them with where they are.

On the other hand, it also means that even if I don't know or like someone, or something, I can still consider why they might have done something and argue their side. Of course, that's still based on my assumptions about people in general, and it's also still quite annoying to the other people I'm talking to when I'm defending someone I don't know, but I don't think it's *JUST* because I'm argumentative ;)

I think in general it's because I like to understand. I don't like it when I don't understand something. It's... Frustrating.

Or at least, that was how I used to feel. There is some sick and twisted stuff that I just cannot fathom one iota.

So I used to think, "How... Why... How could someone do this!? Why would they do that!?"

One day I realised the value in not understanding.

Why would I want to understand those things? Who would I be if I did? I would not be me. I would be someone else. And quite frankly, I'm a whole lot better off being left dumb-founded and confused by some people and their actions.

I'd like to think that perhaps I'm capable of some actions that those people can't understand either.

The only police-related blog that I regularly read is Ing's, but it's still obvious that some complete and total tit has been trying to cause trouble recently, bad-mouthing police menofficers who have left tributes to Pc Jon Henry.

Now, I don't know if these idiots really do hate every officer who puts on The Uniform, or whether they're simply out to cause trouble. Either way, I don't understand it.

But I'll tell you what I do understand about it. I understand the good that has come from it.

These idiots, they wanted to cause hurt and anger and offence. Maybe they did a little of that. But oh, they did so, so much more.

They have caused oh so very many people to come out of the woodwork, stand up, and say, "Hey, I like the police forceservice! You guys do a damn good job!"

They have caused people to come together, to stand as one, to say in unison, "Thank you!"

I would like to think that they do not understand why that has happened. Only that they are remarkable for causing so many people to stand up and rally around their officers.

Our officers.

Our police.

Jumped in a Puddle

...Got splashed in the face.

lol :)

Played on the swings. There was also a puddle under them :) At least I did not get rained on ;)

Yum :) And I just finished a Tarte au Chocolat, to which I added some strawberries and cream :D

One li'l thing that also happened today... I had hopped via Staples as I recalled when I bought a shredder a few weeks ago that they had some office furniture. When I left, I decided to cheekily sneak into town (leaving my car in their carpark) to have a quick hop around. Noticed a pretty girl sitting on the wall outside Staples. Came back about 30mins later. She was still there. Commented, "Weren't you here earlier? :)" She said something I didn't quite catch. "Are you waiting for something? :)" "Yeah, I'm waiting for someone..."

I think she seemed more nervous than I ;) Well, I didn't feel nervous really. Ok, it wasn't exactly the most exciting of conversations, but, I am slowly building my own self-confidence up, I think :)

Off to bed now :) zzzzzzz :)

Saturday, June 16, 2007


I only really had one thing on my "To Do" list today: Buy a desk.

I looked at a few, but I didn't buy one.

Saw Mrs M. She's had one (poor) offer on the house, several viewings.

Got home. My sister had asked on Messenger whether Hot Fuzz had arrived yet.

Phoned them. I said it arrived Thursday :) (She had ordered for me :) ) Which, I said, was funny, as I also bought five other DVDs from Tesco that day :)

Made her incredibly jealous - "I have pizza ordered and on the way, and some big chips in the oven. And a bottle of wine chilling."

Well. I didn't get a desk. But I did enjoy watching Hot Fuzz, along with pizza, chickeny things, big chips, and half a bottle of red :) (Well... half so far ;) )

Which was nice. :)


Friday, June 15, 2007

I came to regret...

...Parking here this morning, as I watched them unload the dirty great big lumps of concrete, and then pile them two high. Fortunately, there was still a skip next to my car, but it was still a bit nerve-wracking none-the-less ;)

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Inspector Inspected

I had another flat inspection today.

I was going to link to where I mentioned the first one, but I discovered that I never actually got around to mentioning it. Oops.

I think it was back in March, after our anniversary, and something that led me to thinking about how my lease was (at that time) coming to an end.
The inspection came at the mid-point of the lease (three months in), but the lease also had two months notice - so, if I wished to renew it or forget it, I had to make that decision at the four-month-marker.

It was when I thought about this that I realised - I couldn't imagine NOT renewing the lease, which ultimately led to some heavy conversations and random blog posts.

Whilst the place was pretty tidy already at the moment, I did have a bit too much washing up, and the kitchen needed a bit of a clean. Cue not heading to bed until gone 2am, with a few odds and sods left to do this morning. I also needed to at least quickly hit my 2nd bedroom, as you could barely get in ;) (I had my suitcase in there from when I'd been figuring out bedroom furniture, and clothes hanging on the airer)... So all those bits led to my being 30 minutes late for work this morning. Oops :) (Ah well, Monday I worked 8am-6:30pm I think, and every other day this week I've left at around 6pm or later [officially finish 5:30], so it all balances out, I figure ;) )

Anyway. It was worth it! :)

As before, I left the girl from the letting agency a note to say hope everything's ok and feel free to have a drink if you want one (I don't know how long they 'poke around' for, but it seems fair :) )

I had this note back:
Everything is fine, as always! You make my job very easy, as I never hear from you. Thanks for the offer of the drink, but I would get too comfy and you would come home home from work to find me on your sofa watching the TV!

Hope you are well + see you soon.

See, I am doing well! :) Clean and tidy AND cosy now! :)

I definitely didn't have a TV or shelves or DVD cabinets last time... I can't remember whether I'd got the sofa by then. Didn't have a coffee table either then :)

Ahhh see, I am doing well here :) I am pleased :) Wonder when my bedroom furniture will get delivered! :)


Why? I don't know really :) Just thought I'd mention peoples' preferences at various times of day :)
I wonder, can anyone guess (does anyone care? ;) ) which ones are mine? :)

I'm quite happy to make the tea in general, but I don't make it half as often these days as I used to. Subject to many complaints ;) I happen to have made it twice today, although it is common for me to sort of, umm, reach the end of the day and have missed an opportunity these days ;) Subject to many, many complaints ;) (It just seems to be the way it goes - busy beavering away on something, and at the point you think "I might make the tea", someone else comes around, and then after that you'll be busy beavering away again, too busy to stop beavering even when you want one :) )
One person, who's also very often busy, tends to make it mid-morning almost every day - the most varied round. But it's not "his round" specifically, and if he doesn't make it then, or someone else makes it, he'll make it some other time.

One person flat out refuses to make it in the morning, which is very frustrating sometimes. If I'm not on the critical path (It's been known to happen), but other people are working like crazy, I'm always happy to make the tea, whilst this person will just refuse. He also tends to not make tea if anyone's in the Conference Room. "I didn't want to interrupt them."
I, on the other hand, tend to make sure to do a round if there's people in the Conference Room, whether it's a prospect or an interviewee. They don't want to die of thirst.

The two company directors are excused from rarely making the tea ;)

The First One
> 1 x Coffee (white, milky if there's spare milk)
> 1 x Tea (with as little as milk as is physically possible without actually putting in no milk)
> 1 x Tea (little milk)
> 1 x Tea (doesn't really mind, but I think he prefers over-average milk)
> 1 x Tea (average milk)
> 1 x Tea (roughly average to over-average milk) (1 sugar)

Morning to Lunch
> 2 x Coffee (white, milky if there's spare milk)
> 1 x Coffee (decaf) (white, not too much milk)
> 1 x Tea (with as little as milk as is physically possible without actually putting in no milk)
> 1 x Tea (little milk)
> 1 x Tea (doesn't really mind, but I think he prefers over-average milk)
> 1 x Tea (roughly average to over-average milk) (1 sugar)
> 1 x Tea (roughly average to under-average milk) (2 sugars)

> 1 x Tea (with as little as milk as is physically possible without actually putting in no milk)
> 1 x Tea (little milk)
> 1 x Tea (doesn't really mind, but I think he prefers over-average milk)
> 3 x Tea (average milk)
> 1 x Tea (roughly average to over-average milk) (1 sugar)
> 1 x Tea (roughly average to under-average milk) (2 sugars)

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Lunchtime Banking

We each had "an account", and together we had "our account". We've got "our account" changed over into just her name now, so I've just sent off the "Change of Address" form for my account (Otherwise they change the address on all accounts related to you, so it seemed to make sense to get "ours" split first).

In terms of finances and such things, we've informally agreed what we'll be doing, and it's basically 50/50.

Erm, thought I'd share that, but it doesn't sound all that interesting upon reflection ;)

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Her, Me, Wii, Us and Them

Had a short chat on the phone with Mrs M a little earlier.

Our house went on the market yesterday, so, well, not much more needs to be said than that :)

Her current plan is to move in with her parents initially and then to move into a new place that she is buying - to that end, she also put a bid in on a property "over there" today.

Because she initially either won't be working, or will only have a basic job, I think she said previously that the mortgage would be in her parents name.

I'll come back to that.

She also just had a Wii arrive today. She ordered one the other day - she had enjoyed mine a few weeks ago, and then had fun with my family on theirs last weekend. I can't remember whether I said she went over to my family's house for the weekend? Well, anyway, she did :)

They (my family) weren't sure how it would feel, but they said it didn't seem weird, and seemed ok. Mrs M also said much the same today to me, regarding them.

I think it's a bit "weird" for us at the moment. For example, first thing Monday morning (not a time I am comfortable with ;) ), I was at Mrs M's work with her to sort out some boring computery thing ;) (I had it sorted by 8:30) (official business - the company for which she works is a client of the company for which I work) (hello, I think I just saw a gnat fly away from my leg, and I only just got out the shower, so it may have got away with a bit of a snack there, cheeky bugger) ANYWAY, I was at Mrs M's work. She said on the phone today after I mentioned how it was a bit weird for me, that she had to fight the compulsion to, for example, stand closer-than-average to me, or to pat my bum ( :-P ) as I was going upstairs and she followed.

Likewise, I said it often seemed a bit strange whenever we do see each other, and then leave, and it's like "Ok, bye!" and that's it - you're sort of thinking, "Should we be hugging? Kissing?" and it's just a bit strange after all those years together to... just... not.

Which is why I find it a bit odd/awkward/weird in some ways to be around her at the moment, as there are all those years of things which had almost become habitual.

As I said though, she's getting on fine (and vice versa) with the rest of my family still. Speaking of whom, they (my parents, sister) are going on holiday towards the end of this month (Lake district I think). I'm not really interested in going with them, although there have been ponderances (on both sides) of Mrs M going if I definitely don't want to (I don't). As it happens, as she's now both selling one house and buying another, she said it may not be sensible to do that anymore, anyway.

I, on the other hand... Am going to finish this blog entry here for now, and the other hand will have to wait until tomorrow ;)

Monday, June 11, 2007

What's In a Name?

I just happened to see it somewhere.

Mrs Inspector Monkfish

It seems a little strange to spot it like that. (Where "like that" was actually her real name)

I don't think I've really felt married at all. I often think in terms of "When I get married... Oh wait, oh yeah."

Updated 12/06/07 18:40
I suppose it just goes to show, you've done the right thing. Though it is sad.

I guess... She sort of felt like my wife (even before we were married), but she also sort of didn't.

I guess that for a long time she felt more like what she was - my partner.

I remember describing to her, years ago, what I felt it should mean to marry someone. To know that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with them. She, at that time, said she didn't really feel the same, and partly just wanted the experience of a wedding. Although I do wonder if that may have been "trying not to scare man into life of commitment" tactic ;)

And I know I never felt like that, which is why it took me so long to ask her to marry me. Because when I did, it wasn't for that reason.

Which is why, I think, I don't "feel" married.

On the plus side, I know that I am not going to make the same mistakes again. I am going to get it right next time.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

We each had 20 minutes...

It was some time back in 2006. My sister had just got a new camera.

"It can take a bunch of pictures and then create a movie from them!" she had shared excitedly, "I've been creating silly little movies of everything!"

Mrs M and I had been over there for the weekend.

"Well," I said, "I guess we have a few cameras between us... We could each take some pictures of something and then create a movie from them in Windows Movie Maker."

And so my Mum and Dad paired off with my Dad's camera, Mrs M and my sister with my sister's whizzy new camera, and I used our video camera in "take pictures" mode (Hmm, I guess it was just before they went on holiday, so I had dropped it off for them to borrow), and we went our separate ways for our allocated time of twenty minutes.

Mum and Dad used some fruit.

My sister and Mrs M used some sheep. Not real sheep, you understand :) My parents don't have a whole bunch of sheep lying around ;) (Although my sister would like that ;) )

And here was my entry... :)

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Set Random to Maximum

I do go exceedingly random sometimes.

Brought air conditioning unit number two home today. Puff pant pant phew hah! :)

Had a Magnum. White chocolate. Yum :)

I'm not a fan of white chocolate in general, but I do love those white Magnums :)

Phoned Mrs M, had a mostly reasonably chat but picked up some details on stuff which kinda sucks for her. I'll explain later. Felt a bit down as a result of conversation, but decided to hop out to Tesco anyway :) Can't remember why I had a burning urge to go to Tesco, but I just felt I needed to ;) (I think you hit that "I don't need to go shopping, but it might be convenient if..." point)

Glad I did though, was feeling a little down for that, but 'twas perked up going around Tesco :)
Actually, I think I was feeling better simply by the time I got there :) Parked in roughly the same spot I usually do - the far side of the car park. Of course, seeings as it was about 9pm, it was almost empty for many rows before that ;) Still, a li'l extra walkin' can't be bad :)

Hummed, probably poorly+irritatingly ;) as I walked around :) Picked up some sausage rolls and some salad to have for me tea :) (I'm eating them now :) along with some cheese [Cathedral City] and a packet of crisps [McCoys, Salt & Vinegar] )
Saw fresh cream chocolate eclairs on offer. Bought 8, will take them to work tomorrow :)

Checkout girl seemed quite cheery but a little tired. She said she'd been off for a couple of weeks and had just started at 5. I imagine it must make for a long day when you spent the rest of it at uni. Whilst she didn't have a specifically small frame, her bossom seemed quite ample for someone of her size. Pondered whether larger than average breasts growing up led to more popularity or more back ache. You probably have to take the rough with the smooth :)

Pushed trolley back to far side of car park. Went to walk trolley to trolley park/shelter thingy, but noticed it was empty. Looked across at next nearest, also empty. Decided to walk back half-way across the carpark to one that wasn't empty. I mean it seemed silly making someone else have to walk all the way over for one solitary trolley :)
Trolley-collecty person headed towards me as I walked to it. As I approached him, I spun the trolley around such that the handles were towards him and exclaimed, "Here you are, sir! :)"

He appeared bemused ;)

Radio on the way home did not interest me. Random humming continued, followed by attempting to hum badly and generally make tuneless noise, followed by setting random to high gear as I proceeded to talk to myself.

Used a silly word.

"I'll have you know," I said, "that that word is in fact in the dictionary."

"And you may not think that. But I happen to know that, because I was, in fact, the editor for the Oxford English Dictionary at that time, and I happened to be on the committee that accepted that word into the dictionary! Hah! Oh yes. Not that I can remember what that word was, but still, ahahaha!"

(All bollocks, of course, in case you hadn't realised ;) )

I wonder what it's like to be sane ;)

Please, let me keep such wondering strictly in my imagination ;)

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Less Lonely Alone

Welp, I'm knackered :)

Woke up around 9ish, but laid in bed until 10ish. Because I could :)

Got dressed, decided to look on youtube for a nice chilled tune that was in my head. Found it, set it off, and wandered into the kitchen for some breakfast. I just fancied some cereal :) Poured it out. Opened the fridge... Ohhh yes, "Buy milk", that's on my list of things to do today ;)

Then came the fun of pouring the cereal from my bowl back into the bag ;)

Meanwhile, I thought "What on Earth has happened to that song? What is that bloody bit they've got going over the top there?" and headed back to my computer to turn the volume down. Bizarrely, even with the volume turned down, the irritatingly loud bit seemed to not get any quieter.

I realised it was my phone ;) (Which was, by now, next to my computer)

I'd set an extra alarm just in case I didn't wake up easily ;)

Had a Pop Tart and a glass of fruit juice instead, and then headed out to town :) LOVELY day :)

Wandered into the barbour's... Was fiiiiilled up with a queue. Wandered around town some more instead :) Bought a T-shirt from Next. Ran back up three storeys to the car park and dropped it off. Bounded back down and headed across town for a 2nd chance at a haircut ;) Less queue, but still in there around 45mins. Read some of Top Gear magazine.

Realised my two hour car park ticket was virtually up and also realised I was hungry. Contemplated what to do... I had been thinking I'd pop into the Tesco in town just for a wander around (they have a lot of non-food stuff, but not so much food stuff) and then up to Asda, as I'd not been there in a while...

Grabbed a sweet chilli chicken wrap from Boots, some pineapple chunks, a bottle of Oasis, and some minty Aero ball things :)

And headed out in the car to go lounge on a big hill while I ate :)

Except I couldn't quite remember actually where the big hill I was thinking of was ;)

So, I'm not entirely sure where it was that I went, but I found a spot at the side of the road next to a footpath and pulled over :)

I decided against going this way ;)

I also didn't fancy plonking myself down on the other side of this gate ;)

And so, I plopped myself down here :)

And so, I sat happily in the shade (I felt it too risky to sit in the sun, having already been walking around in it - I would frizzle and frazzle! eek!), and I ate my lunch and nibbled at my pineapple and my minty chocolate balls (ooh, and I still have some pineapple left! I think I'll hafta go get that out the fridge in a bit :) ).
And when I came to leave, I discovered that I had, in fact, acquired a little friend :)

Following on from my last one, I have been pondering doing a "proper" video blog entry, and briefly considered recording one here. But I couldn't really be bothered ;) And I couldn't see anywhere to have rested the camera that wouldn't have had it looking up my nose ;)

I found when I began to drive home, that I did in fact have no clue where I was, as I ended up returning from a direction opposite to what I was expecting ;)

I had the radio on. I grinned when the song started playing.

I could not help but laugh as I sang along - "And oh my God I can't believe it, I've never been so far from home."

It may not exactly be the best, most exciting day in the history of man, but it sure beats sitting around at home, gazing outside, longing for things to be different.

Because now, they are. :)

(Also: Then spent an hour or two in Asda, came home, began downloading last week's Dr. Who, put shopping away, made a nice ham & pickle sandwich, started writing this, watched last week's Dr. Who, watched this week's Dr. Who, finished writing this :) )