Journeying

I began thinking about this post a little while ago. I then realised a couple of other details that tied in with it, and thought that now would be great timing :)

1. As of today, my blog is one year old! So, happy birthday "Don't Blame The Stars" ! :)
2. This is also my 200th post! What great timing! :) Ok, you may all be going "Hey Monkfish! Wha'cha talking about? That says 5 posts in 2007 and 189 in 2006! You think we can't count? That's not 200, that's only 194! You SUCK!" Well, that's because I have six posts in draft status that I'll probably now either never finish writing, or never publish :) Some were rambles to myself just to get some thoughts down, some were things I started but did not finish, some may be accidental copies of "live" posts... Honestly, listen to me talking about "some", you'd think there were sixty, not six ;)

When I thought about what to write here, I realised I wanted to write about The Journey. For that reason, I decided to title it in honour of Roses' blog.

The Journey. Where has it taken me? Well, just imagine. One year ago today, I was sitting alone at my computer, writing a blog post. Today, I find myself sitting alone at my computer, writing a blog post. Oh, how things have changed! ;)

But, despite that, it has been quite a journey, hasn't it?

I guess that I began thinking about starting a blog, or posting to some forum, or joining some random community site in around November 2005. Look at that, only took me two months to make progress on that, some people can't even get around to buying a bed in that time! ;)

But you know what? I am absolutely genuinely pleased that I started this blog.

It's been great... I've got to know new people, read about things I wouldn't normally have read about, made some truely wonderful friends, shared some of my most embarassing personal information, I've ranted and raved, I've enthused, I've gossiped, and occasionally, just occasionally, I've rambled.

And you know what? I am glad I did it. I've enjoyed it.

And every single person reading this, every reader past, present and future... I thank you. Really. All I do is talk about stuff I think, and stuff that happens to me. And you lot, you bunch of weirdoes, you're actually INTERESTED in that! ;) What's up with that!? ;) But even more than that... I know that some people have actually learnt something from it. From me simply talking about what's happened to me, where I've been, where I'm going and how I think. How cool is that? :)

And I think over the course of this year, I, who I am, has changed.

I have learnt too. I've learnt from the experiences I've been through, the simple act of writing, and I've learnt from the people who read here.

I can't put a finger on how I've changed exactly, but I feel that I have. For one thing, I'm less embarassed to talk about a lot of these things. Ok, I'm still not so keen to do that in real life to people I actually know ;) but even there, I think I have made progress.
But you know what? Some of the posts I was making here months ago... They were really difficult to write. I was scared, ashamed, embarrassed. Not so much anymore. If I felt the need to, I could probably bang up a decent number of embarassing or private pieces of information, without too much 'fear'.

When I started this blog, I almost wanted someone to tell me that I was wrong. I was being stupid. That I should stop pissing about and get on with getting married, and get on with being content with what I had.

I have learnt that yeah, I did try, reasonably hard. It's not my "fault" (That doesn't necessarily place the blame on Mrs M, I'm just saying that I don't blame myself [or the stars ;)] for having arrived here).

I've learnt a lot about myself too. Who I am, how I see things. That's a little odd in some ways, because it's a slightly funny thing to come to terms with and acknowledge who you are ;)

Going forwards, I want to continue being honest and open. And rambly ;) I'm thinking I might start trying to act more on instinct and impulse too, but I'm not really sure about that yet ;)

Thank you all so very much.

Your support, friendship, cheerleading skills, insight, humour, stories, thoughts, listening ears, and sometimes quick mouths have been a true pleasure to have and know :)
I have no idea where I would be today were it not for this blog. Perhaps I would still be at home with my wife. Perhaps at home, with my wife, and lonely.

Thank you. Thank you all :)
Additional, 19/01
I was awful tired and mind wasn't thinking entirely straight by the time I finished that last night, but I really wanted to get it up for yesterday :) I don't think I conveyed quite everything I wanted to, but that's my own fault for leaving it too late :)
I think this time last year I was afraid because I didn't know where I would be a year from then.

Now? I am positive and hopeful, because I do not know where I will be a year from now :)