If 2007 Remains This Busy...

...It'll be a bloody busy year ;)

First of all, Happy New Year to you all. I realise technically that's a little late, but I think I've already said it to most in one way or another, so my apologies if this is the first time you've heard it from me :)

I did nothing of any real interest on New Year's Eve, which is good, because that's pretty much what I wanted to do :) I just wanted a fairly quiet one really. Now, despite having said it was of no real interest, I'll give a quick summary anyway. Prepare for off-the-scale excitement, then ;)
I felt a little down early/mid evening, after I remembered that it marked pretty much eight years to the day that Mrs M and I had effectively first expressed an interest in exploring what was between us, and just thought about all sorts of stuff in general really. But, enough of that, I had a shower, went for a short walk (in about my first week here, I found a slightly raised bit nearby, with a bit of a view over the town - nice spot for random contemplative thinking), and came back feeling far more positive :)
As midnight ticked over, I sat alone, nobody around in real life, no conversation in progress online, and nobody on the phone. Which was great, because that was exactly what I wanted :) I'd pondered it in the days leading up to NYE, and decided I didn't want to make that 'commitment' to anyone.
I read Ing's post about uncertainty with interest, having already decided that I was effectively seeking that uncertainty. Let's take this year one step-at-a-time, and see where I end up.

I spoke for a short while on the phone with both my family and then with Mrs M a little after midnight.

Yesterday marked two years since I proposed to Mrs M. It seems strange to think it's not even a year since we got married, and here I am now. Strange, or silly perhaps, but not something I regret. Better here for the moment, than elsewhere but unhappy. On a day-to-day basis at the moment, I would say I am content. Satisfied with my current lot in life, perhaps, until I know where I'm headed from here.

Today is Mrs M's birthday.

And, just to throw in a few more things for her to think about (just in case she doesn't already have enough), it's not just her birthday. That's right, it's her 30th birthday. Just what she needs right now, I'm sure ;)

She just got back from her parents yesterday (she went up there before I finished work, and came back after I started - pff, it's alright for some! ;) ), and she's popping over to mine this evening. We did discuss going out for a meal, but then she remembered she has a therapist appointment this evening, so may reschedule for the weekend.

I have bought her a book and some earrings. I think for 'significantly number' birthdays, you want something 'lasting'. Of course, I'm sure all she would really want is her husband back. I need to be very careful with contact and presents and stuff - not to give her the wrong idea, or that I am leaning back in her direction or anything. It's a fine line I'm trying to balance on.

It's difficult though. It's still early yet, but based on my general feeling of contentedness, I would be inclined to suspect that I could lean the other direction at the end of this. But, at the same time... She's My Mrs M, and I care about her, and I want to do stuff that makes her happy. And that to an extent will always be true. But if I'm not leaning in her direction, all I'll do is hurt and confuse her.
Anyway, as I said, you can see why it's a careful balancing act.

Still, I'm doing ok in general as I said, I just thought I'd keep you all updated :) Right, now, I have to stop pissing about and get on with some work ;)

Busy busy...