Tried and Tested

Mrs M and I had a bit of a conversation about a week and a half ago after I had hopped over there one evening to pick something up.

I ended up asking the question, "How are you trying to get me back?" (seeings how she wanted me back more than anything, I thought it seemed reasonable)

"Well," she said, "I'm working on food and I'm feeling happier in general."

As I said to her, "working on food" doesn't really count, in my opinion. She's been working on food for the last eight years, and she's currently at her heaviest weight she's ever been. A little over a year ago, she was at her lightest ever, of almost 12 stone.
This time a year ago, towards the end of our honeymoon, I'd guess she was around 13 stone.

The last time I asked her recently, she's now 17 stone. Previous maximum was 16. Every time I see her, she's "making progress on food... except for this last week..."
Ok, maybe she is and I'm being unfair, but obviously I am sceptical after so many years.

As for happier in general, well, of course I'm pleased, and maybe that would have helped, but at the same time, I'm slightly disappointed that she dropped some of the activities she had started. She had started archaeology evening courses (just as "something to do"), which she missed a couple of weeks of for some reason, then didn't bother going back to. She was also going to start learning Italian, but then dropped that before she started it.
I would like to see her making friends with more people, or something.

But I said, "But both those things are to do with you, and ok, they'll help, what are you *trying* to do to get *me* back?"

"I'm... just... waiting, really. Hoping you'll want to come back."

"So why aren't you trying to do anything in particular?"

"I'm afraid of scaring you off."

"Well, that's not something you should be afraid of, and if you can scare me off that easily anyway, then there's a fair chance it's not going to work, regardless."

"I guess. What should I try?"

"I can't tell you that. I don't know. If I did know, I'd tell you."

"I don't really know what to do..."

"Because basically, at the moment, it seems kind of like you're not really trying anything, because you don't really know what to try. Which is pretty much the same as all the last years. You just need to try anything you can think of. Like on our anniversary, you could have got me a present, or something."

"I spent several hours looking around town for something to get you, but I couldn't really think of anything. About the best thing I thought of was cufflinks, and I thought, you don't really wear cufflinks."

"But... I didn't know that, did I!"

"And... I bought some pretty underwear that I was going to wear for our anniversary... but... It didn't fit."

This one was not far off a "throwing my arms up in the air in confusion and frustration" moment. She had said on that day at some point, that "she didn't really want to do anything as it didn't really seem appropriate under the circumstances." - What-everrrr! ;)
Nah, we had had a hug and quick kiss, but to be honest, I had partly just fancied a 'serious' kiss then. Just as all that sort of thing had been an issue for so long, wondered if it might have felt like it was the only problem...
Daft of me though, as of course that was really more of a symptom than the cause.

I pointed out that, as I've said before, at the moment, I don't really miss her when she's not around. When she is, it's kind of nice in some ways, but... I said she might as well just try anything she could think of, and if she thought she wanted to give me a ring or talk to me on Messenger (she said she had been avoiding things like this for fear of bugging me), then just try it.

That's probably why she rang on the following Sunday to ask if I wanted to go to the cinema to see Hot Fuzz last Tuesday. But I started writing this post yesterday, and I thought I'd finish it today, so you'll have to wait for that ;)