I feel strangely devoid of emotion.

We get married in less than a month.



I don't know what to say. I don't know what I want to say. I don't know who I want to say it to. I just feel like I need to say something.

Perhaps just writing it down will help.

The only problem is that time is very very rapidly closing in, and I am fast running out of time to... do whatever it is I need to do.

I haven't even booked the honeymoon yet. One of the few jobs the groom has to do, and I haven't done it. It's just... When I try to think about getting married, I think I'm worried. I'm worried it won't all be happy and smiley. And so I try to avoid thinking about it. Well, I can do that for a couple of weeks, but after that, it's going to be pretty damn hard to be standing up there trying to avoid the subject!

Am I just being a stereo-typical male afraid of commitment?

I don't want to be afraid. I want to get married, have a couple of kids, etc... Well, in theory.

Or is it because we've already lived together for over six years? When you think about happy couples, they don't tend to have lived together that long. Perhaps all married couples start getting "bored", or rather, used to one another, after this long. It's just an inconvenient time to schedule a wedding.

I feel so lost and confused.

I want someone to talk to, and I have no idea who.

That's why I started this blog. Of course, I don't really expect anyone to randomly find it, and I have no idea who I could talk to about it!

God I need to sort myself out somehow.