As I laid in bed this morning, I found myself thinking about the road ahead.
Over the last couple of days, it feels like my wife, probably a little 'threatened' by everything I told her, has been making a bit more of an effort. I can see that the little flicker of hope (which, to me, felt almost extinguished in July/August time) is still there.
So, as I find myself able to eliminate one set of worries, I have immediately conjured a whole new set to appear in their place ;)
I can now see the hope that we can walk up this road together and work on things together, and that they can and will get better.
In seven years, I have gone through varying degrees of happiness. Overall, starting pretty happy and tailing off over the years. But in the seven years we've lived together, there has always been at least one problem (e.g. sex) that has held me back from feeling "truely" happy.
One day, we will have reached the end of our road, and I ought to be happier than I have been in seven years. But then I will need to work out whether I am "truely" happy.
Well, I've waited this long, what's a little longer, eh? ;) Hopefully I can console myself that a part of me knows there's happiness at the end of that road, or I would not have held on for so long.
But overall, we'll just have to wait and see what happens...
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It seems you both have come a long way and faced some pretty tough issues together, in a relatively short space of time :~)
ReplyDeleteAgreed.
ReplyDeleteI think you have been immensely courageous in dealing with everything, and I really admire you for that.
I am so delighted to hear that you feel there's hope now for the both of you, that really is wonderful.
I think you must have a very solid relationship, and must love each other very much; other couples, no doubt, would have crumbled before now. So I think your determination(on both parts) is testimony to the strength of your 'bond'.
Sorry to come over all 'Trisha' there, but I mean that sincerely :-)
Jen
Jen: It's a good job that you have a job now. Sounds like you had been watching too much daytime TV ;)
ReplyDeleteDianne: Yes... I guess we spent the last several hours at the airport, and recently got on the plane ;)
Overall though, it's mostly not that difficult. It's... just.. I don't know... doing it :)
Anyway, will have to wait and see where we go from here :)
Well if nothing else, the fact that you're both admitting there have been problems and you're willing to work on them - that's got to count for something.
ReplyDeleteIng, it would be pretty hard to deny that there haven't been problems.
ReplyDelete