Six to Nine Months

I always knew it wasn't exactly going to be "go to meeting, have revelation, go home, have great sex, live happily ever after".

I don't remember having heard, or at least thought about, the amount of time it could take to sort out before.

...

I am slightly worried about how I am starting to feel about all of this sometimes now. I know when I was looking at this before, perhaps on Relate's website, that I read that many couples tend to leave getting help until it is almost too late, as a sort of "last resort", rather than pro-actively using it to plug the hole before it becomes a flood.
I know that at times, my brain feels like it goes into "emotional suppression" mode when dealing with big/worrying situations. Perhaps this is my "me man, me make fire, me not cry" instinct.
Recently though, I don't feel as though it's on my mind as much, in some ways. In other ways, it's on my mind more.
I'm not sure what's happening in my head. I don't know whether it's "nothing has happened for so long, it probably never will" so beginning to stop caring.
I don't know whether it's "this is causing too much stress, so I'm going to unconciously hide myself away from it"
I don't know whether it's "I'm talking about it more and sharing my problems here in my blog ([wave] hello!), so have more of a release for some of the emotion involved.
I don't know whether it's because we've started on a path that might help solve it (Relate).
I don't know whether it's because I feel we're going to be on another useless path that WON'T solve it (Relate again).
In case you hadn't worked it out from that lot, I'm trying to say that I don't know ;) Basically, I'm thinking more about writing stuff here, and less about "I want sex/I want to try to achieve things that will help us to have sex". Perhaps with everything that's going on, it's just making me so much more aware of the problem and its scale.
I don't know, but to be honest, it slightly worries me.

Something I do now know though, is that my wife does not appear to be aware of the scale of the problem, does not want to acknowledge it, or does not (want to) remember everything I have told her.

At both meetings, when asked whether we had any problems other than the lack of sex, my wife has immediately replied with something along the lines of "No, everything's wonderful other than that, we love each other and want to have children and live happily ever after."
Today, I added, "...Erm, although this problem has been going on for long enough that I don't really want to move forwards until we get this problem solved." (When asked about "forwards", I said, "for example, having children (the obvious lack of sex problem there ignored)".

Going back a year and a half, there were three big Commitment Steps on the road in front of us:
1. Marriage
2. Move to a new house (our current one is technically owned by only my wife)
3. Kiddie winkles

The sequence 1&2 were in have bobbled about a bit over the years. I have made it clear at the moment that I am not going to think about moving until we get this problem solved, let alone children. As I have said before, I would not wish to have children in the state we are in now, for their sake. I do not trust me.

We have lived here for like 6.5 years. I was "quite disappointed" at the lack of sex for the first couple of years, after that it moves up to, let's call it, "somewhat frustrated". I have told my wife this. I have told her how important it is to me. I have warned her repeatedly that while I may have a lot of patience, I by no means have infinite patience. That this would blow up into a bigger problem if not solved.

...

And you know what's worse? I can't actually remember what my point is now. I'm very (very) tired again now, but wanted to get this post out while it was fresh in my mind.

At some point, I also still want to get into the background and more "juicy" (i.e. embaressing to me) details of the current situation.

Until then,

Inspector Monkfish
(Who has been thinking recently that this was really a poor choice of name - I guess I didn't think anyone would really read this when I created it, and was more interested in starting to write than picking a semi-sensible name).
Night!