Explanations & Clarifications

Well, following on from The Big One (tm) below, I think I can throw in a few extra explanations and clarifications on some of what I said there.

Yesterday, I said that there are only two people who know all of the below (meaning, of course, myself and my wife). This is true. However, there was one other person to whom we recently explained exactly when we had last had sex. This was the last Relate counsellor that we saw. However, as that was still only a fairly short meeting in the grand scheme of things, I think she did get the wrong end of the stick a bit, and perhaps seemed to think of it more as a "technical"/physical problem. I'll come back to that in a moment. While I'm on the subject of Relate, we still haven't heard from them since whenever the last time I mentioned them was. My wife'll be giving them a ring at some point soon to check that they haven't forgotten us or anything.

Now then. Sex. What? No, don't be silly, it's not a request ;) I helped to paint some of the walls in our house. Now, if next week, I get a call from the Sistine Chapel, asking if I could just touch-up their ceilings a bit, the fact is, I'm going to be in trouble.
You can't go from waving a paint roller at a wall to painting the Sistine Chapel. It's just not on.

Now, it's the same with sex. If you go having sex with a paint roller... No, hang on, that's not right. (Sorry, don't ask me how, but I'm clearly in a silly mood)

Now, it's the same with sex. If the next time passion crops up, we were to try to go straight into sex, then it would likely end up just not really working and all going a bit wrong.
Ok, so, the theory is, next time passion does crop up, let's not both get stressed and worried about trying to do things neither of us is very familiar with, and stick with the things closer to what we DO know. That way, it's slightly more relaxed and less stressful on us both, and we stand a better job of being able to enjoy what we have done. Ok, it's a plain wall and not the sistine chapel, but it's better than bare plaster.
Now, the theory continues, with that more relaxed experience, we stand a better chance of painting another wall in the near future. Once we've got the hang of painting walls again, we can consider painting a mural in the corner of the room or something.
That's pretty much the theory we've had over these last five years. The theory breaks down when you can't keep the ball rolling (or the paint wet), and you don't get around to painting those walls after all.

And before you know it, you're back at square one.