Recently, I don't seem to feel like I'm even hoping (in a realistic sense) that something might happen. I mean, I used to frequently hope that "maybe something will happen later!" on many/most days. I guess it's like trying to believe that you really genuinely might win the Lottery later. It just doesn't seem to feel plausible anymore. I tried to think about when this happened, and what the cause was. I guessed that in the last few months, there's nothing really been happening to give me that hope.
Some months ago, she'd try reading stories (of the erotic variety, that is - she has some books, and she also used to read some online) now and again to try to think about stuff. I think my biggest turn-on is probably the thought of a gal getting all aroused and stuff. And who better to think about than your wife?
So, when she would go to bed a little earlier than normal, I could hope she was reading a book or something. She often didn't, or even if she did read, it didn't necessarily "do" anything, but I guess it gave me something to hope might happen, that she might all of a sudden turn into a writhing mass of sexual energy.
(I missed the 'h' out of 'writhing' the first time there. A 'writing' mass of sexual energy is probably somewhat less exciting ;)
But over the past few months, she seems to be making even less effort than that. So, I thought about this, and figured that actually, it seems to have been like that since we got married a few months ago.
The conversation went something along these lines, although I know I'm not quite remembering it perfectly.
I started with, "Have you stopped trying to think about 'stuff' recently? I'm not sure you really seem to have done so since we got married."
"...Not specifically"
"Well, I didn't think you would necessarily have thought about it conciously, but I thought perhaps something might have clicked unconciously, or something...?"
"...I'm not aware of having thought that, conciously or unconciously... Do you want the fan turned down?"
"I don't mind."
[She turned the fan down]
[Nothing was said for a couple of minutes. I continued vaguely thinking about things, while I waited to see if she had anything else to say]
[She turned over]
"Are you off to sleep?"
"Erm... yes"
"So... do you have any opinions or thoughts or anything?"
"Erm... about what?"
"Well, about everything I said about not having thought about stuff recently"
"I thought I answered your question?"
Bah :) Anyway, I felt a little depressed then.
A few days later, early evening, I asked one of my usual "So, thought anything 'interesting' recently? (nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more)"
"Well, I had a dream a few days ago (You were in it). And I was actually thinking about reading some stories tonight, for some reason."
"Oh, cool :)"
When she went to bed a few hours later, she came looking for a book. While talking to me, I could see she was trying to keep it hidden.
"Yay!", I Thought, "she's going to read some stories or something, but doesn't want me getting over-excited."
And I felt quite pleased that she was making some sort of an effort again :)
That was last night. Found out today it was a book about weight loss. She ended up not thinking about anything else. D'OH! That'll teach me for jumping to conclusions.
ok so i have like a small question. Your first time was with your wife right? so like do you know what she likes guy? and if you are beside her in bed how come you dont just touch her and do stuff to get things moving?
ReplyDeleteYep.
ReplyDeleteYep.
Tried that. I think there are two problems now:
1. Unless you're in a mood to be turned on, it doesn't work very well anyway
2. The more you try it (over time I mean, not just in one night), the more she gets used to it and the less of the effect it has. Things that would have worked once, no longer do.