I am not really... Ready... to write this post. It is the "if the worst came to the worst" worry at the back of my mind. I do not feel this situation has arrived. With luck, it never will. However I have a slight worry that it could one day sooner or later turn into a big worry. That is not to say that I think it will. Got that? I am sure that if such situation does arrive, I will be posting all about it here. And I can easily imagine the responses at that time.
So, with that disclaimer in mind, I implore you, be fair with your comments today ;)
I am writing this to try to explain to someone else the absolute truth and absolute fear at the bottom of my situation. People should be prepared as best they can be for what may await them.
Months ago, I knew what the problem was.
We weren't having enough sex.
The thing that worries me now is whether that is the real problem or not. It was an easy thing to blame.
As some people have noticed, I care about all sorts of things. I care about people who can't reach something at the back of the shelves in the supermarket when I have to stretch to reach something, and I bring several "spares" to the front of the shelf for other people.
I care about sad stories on the other side of the world. I care about my job, my company, and the people I work with. I even cared about the trainee we fired (not in THAT way!). I care about offending the feelings of people I do not know.
But the more I know someone, the more I care about them.
I do love my wife, and I believe she loves me absolutely.
I hate to cause her even a little bit of hurt, which is why I struggle to be honest with her about some issues, even when I need to be.
How could I ever even contemplate causing her the pain of taking away the thing she loves most dearly, regardless of how I feel myself? How could anyone do that to someone?
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That was a powerful post, I think. Again, I'm not sure what to say. I think that many of your posts also cause the reader (me, in this case) to think of themsleves and issues your writing has raised.
ReplyDeleteFrom your previous posts, it does sound like you, as a couple, and perhaps your wife as an individual, have some issues to resolve, But most people do, I think, so I wouldn't panic too much about that in itself. I think the main thing is to realise that and try to do something about it. I think the danger is when you convince yourself everything is ok and it isn't.
I know you worry about hurting your wife, but I really think that communication is vital and that means honesty.Though that's dead easy to say, isn't it? I've mucked things up myself by not communicating.
But, hey, what do I know? I haven't been in your situation and I sort of feel like I have a cheek attempting to help. But again, I couldn't read and not post.
Take care
Suz
I guess that's how anyone relates to anything - through their own experiences.
ReplyDeleteI'm kind of glad I write in a way that makes people think, though.
I think I can take that as a compliment ;)
We all have our little puzzles to solve.
Yes, communication is vital, and it is difficult at the most important times.
Oh and like I'll come out with this situation with good advice for someone else in my situation ;)
You just have to play it by ear, I guess.
Thanks though Suz, as always, appreciated.
As I said though, it's not that bad yet. Fortunately :)
Thank you, all, again :)
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